they had the right idea...

the beatles:
let it be.
bob marley:
don't worry be happy!

ps- did you know bob marley had a brain tumor?
interesting..
he had lots of other cancer too,
before or after the cannabis... i don't know.
if before, was it related?
i don't know.

if you do.. or just have a comment.. write!

pss- my homepage is now my facebook,
my "wishlist" is my myspace.

oh... and bob marley refused treatment.

the vacation mentality.

on every trip, i am my happiest.
i loooove any kind of trip,
and i think i've figured out why.
i live by my own rules.
they are:
create a world you like
and live in it.
i will try to take this philoshophy home,
as i did after cuba.
i will read this if i forget.

Superiority?

yeah... it doesn't exsist.

Your World.

Their are billions of worlds going on in this universe.
Each person, Animal, Blade of grass,
Has their own existence to worry about.
You can care...
But you really don`t have to.
It is your world.
You can do whatever you please.

happiness comes from within?

should i block out everthing i've ever been told,
since it was external?
opinions are so different,
and i don't know if mine are right or wrong,
how can i fight for something that might not be true?

It's a new day.

The shine is shining,
The birds are chirping.
I feel like im coming out of a fog.

feeling really guilty.

why do i complain so much?
i have food,shelter, people that love me,
and about ten thousand things that are completely unessacary.
with nothing to do but think, i am reflecting,
and my life has been amazing.
i definetly need to be more thankful.
it's time to figure out what i will do to give back.

Update- WARNING- This is not written by someone who feels fabulous.

For the first time in 2 weeks i have enough energy to type,
which is actually quite an accomplishment for me, as is have done nothing but sleeping, dreaming and being dragged to and from doctors.
I have become a walking pharmacy, taking.... everything.
I thought that i would be kind of depressed seeing that i need to take all of these drugs (perscription drugs)
in order to keep my eyes open,
but i actually feel releived.
If a drug will make me feel decent, i will take it.

The tumor in my head has grown, and it is inoperable, because it is on my brain stem.
I would like to thank friends for their concern, but i am only going to talk when i feel like it.
That is greedy, but i really dont care.

I have gone from the feeling of honestly wanting to die, to wanting to be a coma to whatever im feeling now. .. typing at least.

I am hopeful that i will continue to feel better,
but right now the only thing that is set is stone is that i am going to hawaii on friday,
now matter how i am feeling.
I am living every moment as thought it is my last,

Which, though i've always said that was one of my mottos,
this is the first time i am saying it honestly.
I do want to make a difference before i go,
I am healing, and im not predicting my doomsday,
that will remain a mystery,
and i will not end my own life, no matter how dismal it gets.

Things that seem useful to me, are maybe becoming a scientific study to better life conditions of others with tumors, or, if i acheive a recovery that lets me out of bed, i would really like to find fufillment, by helping others find fufillment.

I realize i have been much more inspiring in the past,
But this is how i feel right now.
On the bright side, i am feeling better i have in a while, and better is always good.

The future is undecided, and it could include chemo or radiation, but hopefully, eventual recovery, a return to school, grad, university, mystery, and lots of travel.

And a purpose... would be great.